On the weekend I was at a public reserve and noticed the dog poo in the grass. “Who would not clean up after their dog?” I thought. Someone clearly had not been considerate and I was getting a bit annoyed. But then I thought back a few years. I remembered how not that long ago it was a lot more common to find doggy poo in the streets and in parks. Certainly when I came to New Zealand, the risk of stepping into a dog’s mess was a lot higher than it is today. I remember how in Europe councils and other institutions were struggling to accustom dog owners to pick up their pet’s business. When we visited England it was clear that some more effort was required to clean up parks and streets. But there, too, more and more people could be seen carrying a bag when walking their dog.

And so I turned my disgust around to thankfulness. I’m grateful that normally we don’t have to contend with doggy mess when we’re out and about in reserves and parks. At least that change in society’s norms has made life easier for many people. There are many things that were better in past years, but some things are better today and it is important that we notice them. When we experience something unpleasant, maybe sometimes we could be thankful that we do not have to contend with it so often.

That is true in our interpersonal relationships also. When somebody disappoints us with behaviour that is out of character, are we grateful that normally his or her character is quite agreeable and considerate? Do we still hold it against an organisation that once one of its representatives was rude to us when normally we were treated well? That’s not to say that we should not call out inconsiderate behaviour or that we should accept abusive treatment, but at times we need to step back and consider the bigger picture and be thankful for the good that we do experience and the respect that others normally give us.

Having said all that, I still prefer to go to clean park, where the dogs have not left their mess.